Circles of Gold - shunned by all, would he ever be accepted?
He was born with a defect he could not change. He was different and could never be like other boys, other men, other people. His disfigurement eventually drove him from his family, from the village and out into the world as a troubadour, a teller-of-tales … well, more precisely, a listener-of-tales. In solitude, with his trusty horse, he found a softer world without sniggers and demands and a world of peace and the silent whisperings of his soul. However, the solitude never lasted for long. The more he searched for that softer world, the more the sharp and abrasive one encroached upon him … till, one day, he met someone he didn’t want to turn away, someone who yearned for the disfigurement he had …
In a world that demands conformity, he was lost. Shunned by a society that cared not, he wandered - not lost but lonely and curious - till he found talents he couldn't express in constriction. In freedom, his true self arose, along with connection with the same-hearted ones. A tale of long ago for those confused today.
I really enjoyed this story.
I liked the way that the father had to deal with his own emotions concerning the birth deformities of his son, and his role as a priest in life. It would be interesting to see what happens to the father/ son relationship as the story unfolds.
The story moved along at a good pace and I was entertained throughout. I really want to find out what happens to Donal with regards to his potential new relationship. John
Your writing has rhythm and you build good climaxes through your language. You’ve definitely got the fire and brimstone side of it down and it can be pretty powerful stuff. Nom Adagio
This was a lovely story. I was thoroughly entertained and my interest was held right through.
I read it one sitting. It is a beautiful fairy story to me or, rather, I should write, mythical. The characters are vivid, the narrative voice was clear and in keeping with the ethos of the story. The settings were vivid and so visual I could almost imagine I was walking alongside the horse and then the cart. The dialogue was clear and sharp and did not jar. There was also the subtext of deformity which was Alfred Adler’s (one of Freud’s disciples) theory of neurosis. You executed this very well.
Even though others accept his deformity, like his mother and his two little friends he could not as his father expected perfection which Donal picked up and could not physically achieve.
The ending where Morganna puts the golden rings into her belly button was touching and so original. Great story. Katy
It is rare to find a piece that one can say only positive things as is the case here.
Also it is rare to find a story which has been so beautifully written. I use ‘beautifully’ rather than well written because your use of the language is outstanding it starts at the first sentence the first ‘Once upon a time, when dreaming was useful, a child was born.’
And runs all the way through the story to ‘They smiled at each other as he urged Clyde to start for the village. He shyly put his hand on hers and she didn’t move hers away.’ Harry Helfer